


Drunken Nights

by Geert_Wim



Category: TwoSet, Twosetviolin, Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Bottom Eddy Chen, Drinking, Drunk Sex, M/M, NSFW, PWP, Porn With Plot, Smut, Top Brett Yang
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-18
Updated: 2020-04-24
Packaged: 2021-03-01 22:02:12
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 12,795
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23724274
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Geert_Wim/pseuds/Geert_Wim
Summary: Brett figetedly pulled on his clothes trying to keep his anxiety down. Wasn't this what he wanted? It was no lie to say that he had always imagined waking up in Eddy's arms with the knowledge that he had made the boy his but this left an awful taste in his mouth. He didn't want it this way, yet there they were in their anxious silence waiting for who would speak first.Eddy felt a dip in the bed which signaled that Brett had climbed back in or sat on the edge yet he still did not dare to look, just listened to the words that fell from the boys mouth." This didn't mean anything, it was just mindless sex without any strings attached. We were both drunk, we didn't know what we were doing so I hope a mistake like this won't break our friendship. Are we chill bro?" Smooth move Brett lying to the guy you like all while forgetting that the drunken man's actions were the sober man's thoughts.The words were void of emotion and fell with a crushing weight.
Relationships: Brett Yang/Eddy Chen, Eddy Chen/Brett Yang
Comments: 2
Kudos: 74





	1. 1

" Have you ever said the wrong name during sex while moaning?" Brett was staring at his phone as Eddy tried to fall asleep next to him.

" Hmm no. When you're in a long term relationship you tend to only think of the person you're with" Eddy kept his eyes closed as he talked.

" Eddy you aren't in a long term relationship anymore so you must be seeing other people or thinking of someone besides her." Brett set his phone down on the nightstand.

" I know but I haven't been with anyone since. it still feels wrong to me," Eddy turned his head to face Brett as he opened his eyes" So have you moaned someone else's name while doing the deed?" 

He asked curiously despite not really liking to imagine his friend romantically involved with anyone, even if the involvement was just one night stands.

" I could change that," Brett murmured lowly to himself so Eddy couldn't make out the muffled sounds as he rolled onto his side to watch Eddy in return. They were now gazing into each other's eyes ," I've done it on several occasions while really drunk. Let's say most of the people were to horny to care who's name I said.``

" What was the name?" Eddy tilted his head then bit his lip" You need to stay away from all the men and women plus the alcohol. It can't be healthy. Maybe if you settle down with someone?"

" Yours"

"What!?"

" You didn't let me finish! Yours as in your relationship, I was saying your relationship didn't seem to work out even if you were doing everything right but you still ended up miserable. I may look like I am doing everything wrong but at least I get to be drunk and happy" Brett spoke quickly in panic. 

"Ouch that hurt," Eddy looked away quickly to stare at the wall trying to hide the hurt in his eyes," Do you want to grab wine or sake then so we can be drunk and happy together…"

Brett slowly slipped out of Eddy's hotel bed with a sigh feeling bad for upsetting the younger male and decided he didn't want to get into a big discussion over it if he said no to the idea," I'll grab us some sake from the lobby shop then" he put a hand on the taller's shoulder giving it a tender squeeze," Hey I didn't mean it… I'm sorry for upsetting you. After a few drinks I promise you'll feel better"

" I know you didn't mean to Brett but it's true! I do feel miserable…. It's not your fault. " Eddy looked up at the shorter male with sad eyes," I wasted so much time with her just trying to make it work when I could have been with the person I really like" he groaned and shook his head regretting saying those words already," Just get the beer. I'll be waiting for you right here, sulking" 

Brett blinked owlishly opening his mouth wanting to ask Eddy who he really liked but he soon closed his mouth to nod," Okay I'll grab the alcohol" he reluctantly removed his hand then trotted out of the hotel room to get them something to drink.

\---------------

" Eddy you're drunk stop trying to deepthroat the neck of the bottle"

" You can't tell me what to do!!!" Eddy sat against the wall with a green bottle tucked close to his chest," how else am I going to practice" he slurred as he looked up at Brett with dazed eyes.

Brett glanced the boy over staring at his red slightly swollen lips, dazed bedroom eyes then his messy hair that always defied gravity. Brett bit his lip as he slowly sat on the edge of the bed, fidgeting with his hands," Well I know one way you could practice."

Eddy quirked an eyebrow not really catching the hint," How?" A goofy grin slowly spread across his face.

" you could always try to suck me off" The two boys made brief eye contact both sharing their idiotic grins.

" Nah, that's icky" Eddy shook his head no as they began to break out into drunken laughter.

Brett stood up with a bit of trouble but managed to keep his balance,"You're a biter anyways!" He giggled shyly

" How would you know it's not like I've ever bitten you" Eddy tilted his head to the side to lean against his shoulder which allowed his bangs to slide over his face as his lips parted slightly to let a breath escape him. Brett watched how the boy's elegant neck was now completely open and unmarked by anyone.

" Yeah you have. You bit me on my knee once" Brett stumbled over despite trying to take ginger steps," it was in the orchestra pit. You were on the floor me in a chair then you bit me like a dog"

" Grammatically you should have said I was sitting in a chair," Eddy let his eyes flutter closed with a quiet scoff breaching the safety of his lips," Like a dog huh? You must of deserved it, if I bit you" 

Brett now stood in front of the boy with a small pout etched on his face," What are you the grammar police" he couldn't resist himself, he reached out to tangle his fingers with the messy strands of hair that framed the younger males face, he thought it felt just as soft as it looked.

Eddy slowly moved into the touch on his hair," Hmmmmm whatcha doing?"

" Just petting you, duh," Brett continued to stroke lightly as he stared down at Eddy.

Eddy rolled his eyes with a huff of defiance but didn't try to stop the smaller male otherwise. He tiredly pressed his face to Brett's knee with a yawn before clamping his teeth down on the jean clad flesh as he made a small growling noise.

Brett yelped then pulled at the youngers hair to free his leg from the fierce clutches of teeth," Bad boy! No bite!" He spoke as one would do to discipline a new puppy.

Eddy laughed a bit evilly as he heard the command so instead of obeying he simply cupped the back of Brett's knees to pull the elders legs out from under him with a swift movement. He ignored the complaints as he slowly crawled on top in a mounted position on Brett's slender chest "how about no?"

Eddy smiled triumphantly in his drunken gaze, sadly he didn't catch the darkening look in his friends' eyes.

  
  


\--------

Eddy woke up to something warm and fuzzy tickling his chest. He didn't remember the happenings of last night, their promises nor the I love youse, all Eddy knew was that his head and stomach hurt then there was someone snuggled into his chest.

He let his eyes flutter open to find his best friend in-between his arms peacefully in slumber.

His heart sank with the initial panic that came with the thought that he had hurt Brett because he could feel very well that neither of them were wearing clothes under the covers; however his panic subsided when he felt a pain in the small of his back and the uncomfortable feeling in-between his legs. Eddy didn't have much time to think about it though because the elder started to rustle– due to feeling his startle– then rolled away with a yawn.

He didn't know what to do, he found himself just staring blankly at the wall instead of the movements of the other, certainly his eyes weren't on Brett who slipped out of bed showing the nice curve of his spine and the flex of his shoulder blades as he yawned. He wasn't staring at the hickeys or scratches, absolutely not, his eyes stayed in their place.

Brett figetedly pulled on his clothes trying to keep his anxiety down. Wasn't this what he wanted? It was no lie to say that he had always imagined waking up in Eddy's arms with the knowledge that he had made the boy his but this left an awful taste in his mouth. He didn't want it this way, yet there they were in their anxious silence waiting for who would speak first.

Eddy felt a dip in the bed which signaled that Brett had climbed back in or sat on the edge yet he still did not dare to look, just listened to the words that fell from the boys mouth.

" This didn't mean anything, it was just mindless sex without any strings attached. We were both drunk, we didn't know what we were doing so I hope a mistake like this won't break our friendship. Are we chill bro?" Smooth move Brett lying to the guy you like all while forgetting that the drunken man's actions were the sober man's thoughts.

The words were void of emotion and fell with a crushing weight. 

Eddy could feel his heart shatter and his jaw clench, in that moment he didn't want to speak but to curl up and cry; nonetheless he sighed to calm himself so he could speak plainly it wasn't like he secretly wanted it anyways, "Yeah we're chill bro…. Accidents happen … nothing could break me away from you" 

" Do you want me to get us breakfast?"

" yeah I think that would be good but I think that should wait for a moment…"

Neither would say but they desired to be alone. Neither would say but they wished one would reassure it mattered and was more than an accident but the likelihood of that was slim.

Eddy slowly reached out to touch Brett's side before the elder stood to leave," I didn't hurt you did I? Do you feel okay?"

" physically I'm fine… mentally is a different story. Um how about you?" Brett gulped not expecting the question nor the touch.

" I feel sore but otherwise about the same." Eddy let his eyes fall downcass as he thought," Uh I'm sorry about the rest."

" Bro we already said we were chill, do we have to talk about this right now" As soon as the words left his mouth he regretted them because of how snappy they sounded even to his own ears it also didn't help how he felt Eddy's hand quickly flinch away.

" Yes we need to talk about it! I could have possibly taken advantage of my drunk best friend for sexual relief! That sounds like a pretty serious issue we need to talk about! And we're on tour so we can't have any tension but most importantly I want you and us to be okay!" Eddy huddled to his corner as he snapped back not being able to keep himself from retaliating

" We already said we're chill isn't that enough?,"Brett got out of the bed as he quickly searched for his shoes

" Well you can solve that shit by yourself! And while you're at it why don't you get dressed.

Then maybe we can talk because I don't want to talk about the damn thing right now. It's too early to deal with. And for me the discussion ended before it started!"

He didn't know why he was reacting so badly it's not like Eddy was wrong or was trying to provoke him, but the thing he did know was the pain that was filling his heart. Eddy just wanted to make sure he was okay but it was Brett who feared he'd broken Eddy; When the questions came, it felt like he was being guilt tripped or imposed on which caused his immediate attitude. He really didn't want to talk about it, he'd rather run from his problems and heart like he always did.

They never argued but here the duo was throwing cruel words at one another.

" Fine then just leave, I don't want to see your face anyways!"Eddy waited for Brett to turn away as he slipped out of bed making his way straight to the bathroom with a slight hobble in his stomp. He only hoped he could wash the disgust away. He slowly poked his head out of the bathroom with a solid pout on his face,"and while you're out why don't you learn how to use a fucking condom!"

Brett stayed in front of the hotel door listening to the younger, a small smile spread across his features, not because he was happy but because part of him was proud of the fact that he knew why Eddy had said that; however,it was also because of his more morbid part that felt a strange sense of vengeance in knowing the boy would have to deal with it.

" I thought you'd have more fun this way" he snorted bitterly as he stomped out.

As soon as Brett left the room the smile on his face faltered. He allowed his back to hit against the wood;slumping against the door as his heart fell he let the angry tears spring free from their prisons.

" Holy shit! Why was I being such a douchebag!!! I'm going to screw this all up!" He drew his knees to his chest in a tight hug as he mourned their drunken actions and their dispute, thinking it wrong of him to get such pleasure at the others expense then to revel in the boy's pain, didn't help his own case of guilt. He blamed it on their argument, he'd always been competitive and enjoyed watching people lose, perhaps that's why the strange reveling feeling filled his mind.

\----------------------------

Eddy groaned to the sticky and dirty feeling then realized:

" Crap I don't know if he has HIV or STDs I could be infected! Nope nopity nope! I am not dealing with that today!"

He tried to focus his mind on his physical health rather than the storm in his head. He hoped it would help him ignore the pain in his heart amongst the pain of everything else. The physical was easier to cope with than the emotional because it was something real,logical, explainable but emotion was not logic or explainable it just roamed as it pleased. So he pressed the anger, insecurity and the sorrow to try to get through this day peacefully.

However, his brain had other plans, he just felt so dirty and disgusting as he sat near the toilet on the bathroom floor feeling himself getting ready to throw up; Perhaps from the hangover or his exposed feelings but he would not dare let tears fill his eyes even as the abrupt sounds of puking ripped through his throat.

No he would not cry nor mourn what had been lost for he did not know what he had lost in the first place.

He had lost his girlfriend and now it seemed Brett was slipping through his fingers before his very eyes. He couldn't allow that even if it meant swallowing down his own pride and groveling in attempt to appease his gremlinish friend.

This was just another obstacle to overcome. He could do this…

________

Now that Brett was outside of the hotel he didn't know what to do but mindlessly kicked rocks. The cement scuffed his gucci shoes, he didn't care though, the rocks bouncing against the sidewalk was the only thing keeping him sane and distracted from the chaos. He knew he needed to apologise before the show that night but he didn't want to return to their shared room because it meant he'd have to face the reality of their drunken states and hungover argument over it.

What made it worse was that he remembered every single second of their night to top it all off it was amazing! Drunk Eddy splayed out under him was one of the sexiest things he had ever seen and now it was committed to his memory.

********

_ Somehow they ended up in the hotel bed both fully stripped, clothes thrown in disarray all over the floor.  _

_ " It won't fit" The younger male slurred softly feeling lotion being rubbed up against his entrance. The cold cream sent shivers up his spine. To Brett's surprise he seemed rather well groomed and clean down there. Maybe that was why Eddy had spent so long in the bathroom, even drunk the connection seemed to click with Brett. What had he been preparing for? Better question yet who was he cleaning for? _

_ These were all things Brett wanted to ask but decided not to after all in that moment Eddy was his, only his. _

_ " Yes it will, trust me," Brett had hummed in response, nestling himself between Eddy's long legs. The boys drunken haze seemed so strangely innocent. _

_ With his free hand he massaged along the inside of the other violinists thighs to make sure he would relax. _

_ He slowly dared to push some of the cream inside the pink ring of muscle, clean on the inside too it seemed. Eddy must of known that fingers could fit after all," You're so soft and warm on the inside" _

_ Brett murmured wanting to stroke the silky walls but he kept his finger still making sure his partner was well adjusted to the foreign object. It was always strange to have someone's fingers up your ass where they seemingly didn't belong. _

_ Eddy looked down to see the work Brett was doing, his eyes glassy and dazed, face covered in a steady blush " O-oh it is? Maybe I can feel too" _

_ He trailed his willowy fingers down his body to meet Brett's hand, feeling where the elders finger easily entered him. He tried to wiggle his own index finger in which he somehow managed. _

_ " Silly don't do that" Brett couldn't stop himself from chuckling, although he still worried of Eddy hurting himself. _

_ " I'm not the one with my finger up someone else's butthole, so you're the silly one" Eddy giggled while removing his finger,instead, trying to fondle with Brett's hand. _

_ He leaned over kissing the younger's forehead," You're goofy. It won't be the only thing I have up someone's ass" he chuckled trailing kisses down Eddy's face until their lips met. _

_ " I love you Bretty" Eddy sighed into the kiss. _

_ Brett closed his eyes melting into the feeling, using this opportunity to add another finger since it seemed his partner could handle it. He was going to make sure the prep was just as good as the real deal; it made no sense to accidentally hurt the other in a rush so he took it slow: Pumping his fingers in and out, lightly curling and scissoring them to help get a good stretch. _

_ It felt right to have Eddy spread underneath him panting against his lips.  _

_ Brett nipped at the boys bottom lip requesting entry into his mouth, wanting to explore every piece of him in full. _

_ Eddy complied, easily parting his lips for the elder ; allowing Brett's tongue to trace his lips and dart into his mouth happily eliciting a moan from the back of his throat. It was good, but it would also be considered disgusting if Eddy's germaphobic mind were in tact.  _

_ Dainty fingers searched for the taller violinists prostate by massaging alongside the silky walls awaiting for a reaction to signify they had found the nerve bundle. _

_ Eddy suddenly arched his back off the mattress whilst subconsciously spreading his legs wider as a loud moan escaped the barricade of their connected mouths. _

_ Brett pulled back from the kiss with a lazy yet a lust laced grin," I found it" _

_ The alcohol made his voice raspier than usual. _

_ Eddy curled his fingers and toes into the sheets staring up at Brett with a rather dazed look, his cock was already leaking precum onto the navel of his stomach from the fingering. _

_ " is it good?" _

_ " i-it's g great brett" Eddy tried to focus enough to get a proper sentence out but Brett continuing to tease past the spot he had just hit made it hard," p-please again?" _

_ He lifted his hips slightly to help with his plea wanting Brett to hit that spot again. _

_ Brett's face blushed, how could his drunk friend be so cute and sexy at the same time? _

_ " yeah, again" _

_ He murmured, rubbing his fingers right against it once more: Watching how Eddy writhed in pleasure. Brett wanted more, to touch him more and to feel him more. _

_ " Can I put my dick in now?" His patience was dwindling, maybe if he were sober he'd have more control. _

_ " It's too big, won't fit," Eddy whined to the loss of Brett's hand. He tried to bring it back to continue fingering him. His long fingers loosely wrapped around Brett's lithe wrist so he could put the man's hand back between his legs. _

_ Brett felt touched that Eddy thought he was that good at fingering but he definitely had other things he wanted to do, his neglected arousal was throbbing and wanting attention," okay I'll continue fingering you but could you do something for me" _

_ Eddy nodded eagerly since it meant he could get the elders beautiful fingers back inside of him. _

_ Brett licked his dry lips as his free hand slowly stroked his cock," This guy is feeling neglected, do you think your pretty mouth could give him some love?" _

_ Eddy's brows furrowed as if it were one of the most important decisions he was going to make since he still remembered calling it ucky," I can do that." _

_ Brett smiled slightly as he patted his lap in thought it would summon the other violinist forward. _

_ Eddy slowly let go of Brett's wrist so he could scurry over to the shorter male to provide some service. He stared down at the straining erection quizzically as if he'd never seen it before. In a sense he had never seen Brett's fully erect penis before because bros don't look at each other's boners only flaccid lengths to jokingly compare while going to the bathroom or something. _

_ " wanna touch it?" Brett broke the silence after a few minutes of Eddy's staring, the gaze admittedly made him nervous because he couldn't tell what the taller was thinking. _

_ Eddy nodded taking this as permission to do so, he trailed his index finger on the underside feeling the slight curvature and the long vien running up it. _

_ Brett shivered in anticipation when the contact finally came, never in a million years would he have thought Eddy would be willing to touch his nether regions. Despite how many times he had imagined it in his head–Eddy would usually be a lot better at it in his fantasies–they could never replace the real deal. _

_ " Your dick is nice," Eddy slurred slightly, not sure what was considered appropriate to say in these kinds of interactions. Maybe it was better not to say anything at all. _

_ Brett shyly looked away, it was a strange compliment–no stranger than the situation itself ," I thought it was too big.."  _

_ " It's desirable to most people so it's good" Eddy nodded mostly to himself, figuring out how to go about his task at hand. He loosely wrapped his fingers around the base giving a testing squeeze. _

_ Brett mewled slightly then whimpered sulkily," The only person I want to desire it is you..." He knew he should just be thankful Eddy was willing to go this far. However, it was basic human nature to want to be desired by the person he was interested in. _

_ Eddy gave Brett a weird look, it was more sad rather than judgemental or disgusted," Who said I didn't… maybe I like complaining a bit to give you a challenge. I may be boring if I can't challenge you " _

_ He slowly leaned over letting his tongue flick out, lightly licking the tip. He had no clue what he was doing. It was rather strange to lick his best friend's private parts like a popsicle. _

_ Eddy Chen was not great at it and probably would never be but he was trying. _

_ Brett dared to look back at the boy, a shiver running down his spine from the sudden wet contact," Oh?... A challenge. You should know you could never bore me" he interlaced his slender fingers into the dark hair with a low hum. _

_ Eddy slowly pressed his face to the smaller man's pelvis placing open mouthed kisses there–he was better at kissing or licking things that weren't dicks– to show appreciation towards the comment although he heavily doubted it. Even in his drunken muddled brain he was certain that he would grow dull to Brett.  _

_ He submissively nuzzled his cheek against the base of the elders cock with a pur. _

_ Running his fingers through the youngers hair fondly, his eyes locked in on Eddy thinking he was somewhat cat-like with the purring and nuzzling. _

_ " such a pretty kitty," Brett whispered with bubbly giggles. _

_ " At first I was a dog, now I'm a cat. What other animal will I become" Eddy pressed his lips to the underside so Brett could feel the vibrations of his own laughter. _

_ Brett grunted trying to keep any other noise at bay, " Hey Eddy, raise your ass into the air so I can finger you while you suck" _

_ Eddy's face lit up at the mention, he thought it felt strangely good to have Brett's finger's inside of him, he raised his hips–wiggling his ass slightly thinking it was seductive. _

_ Brett was pleased with Eddy's obedience finding it intriguing how well the younger would always respond. Then again this is something Eddy wanted so it was very possible it was a selfish obedience. _

_ " Good boy. You love my fingers that much, huh? You're presenting yourself so nicely for them" he ran his fingers down Eddy's spine before resting in the cleft of Eddy's cheeks, wanting to tease him with having it so close yet so far. _

_ " I love them so much Bretty. Please.." Eddy took the tip to his mouth giving kitten like licks before becoming more eager with each swipe of his tongue. _

_ Brett leaned his head back allowing a flow of moans to fall out of his mouth. Eddy was nowhere near the best he wasn't even close to being good but in Brett's eyes he was all of it and more," You got it. I'll make you feel so good Eddy." _

_ Eddy smiled around the tip before taking it into his mouth giving some strong sucks as a way to show his want.  _

_ Brett slipped his fingers down until he felt the ring of muscle already opening under his touch. He didn't have as good of reach as he did before but he still managed to hook two fingers back inside.  _

_ The angle was extremely awkward allowing barely any movement of the intruding digits but it was all worth it to watch how Eddy tried to fuck himself back on them, the up and down movement either made him take more of Brett's cock in his mouth or more of Brett's fingers up his ass. _

_ He moaned and mewled sending vibrations through them with perfect vibrato. _

_ " You look scrumptious," Brett murmured, giving a slight tug to the boy's hair," I could just eat you. You'd like that huh?" _

_ Eddy just moaned in reply, too drunk on hormones to give an actual response, he was in bliss. _

_ Brett pulled at his friend's hair with sick fascination enjoying the facial expressions Eddy was making in a pleased reaction. He wanted to devour the boy, all his sounds and expressions! It was too surreal. _

_ Eddy slowly lifted his head letting Brett slip from his mouth," More… please"  _

_ Brett scissored his fingers slightly, spreading him out further," You're demanding" he laughed softly," you're cute when you beg. What do you want?"  _

_ " I want you" Eddy looked up into his eyes," I think maybe it could fit… it kinda fit into my mouth so it should.."he pondered slightly on his logic, thinking it made sense. Surely if something could fit in his mouth it could fit in his ass, right? _

_ Brett tilted his head to the side pursing his lips," You really like having attention on your butt huh?" _

_ " no!.. maybe.. yes…I do" Eddy stammered before smiling shyly," Your fingers feel nice…the rest of you must too."  _

_ He whimpered as Brett withdrew his fingers. _

_ The elder took a deep breath," how would you want it" he was trying to keep his self control not entirely sure if this was something the younger had really wanted. In the back of his mind it nagged him that this was a bad idea. He promptly ignored it. _

_ Eddy looked as if he were deep in thought making a very important decision," A position we can cuddle in" _

_ He always had a taste for cuddly sex, it felt safe and intimate, very vanilla much like his romance. It was about love and comfortability instead of carnal lust. _

_ As for Brett sex was a thing done in the most impersonal way: doggy style with touch limited to hands on the hips and where the pair were connected. It was for the pleasure not the stranger.  _

_ For Brett, Eddy was different. He found himself wanting to hold him 'till daybreak whispering sweet nothings as they took it slow. _

_ " Do you like missionary or possibly spooning?" Brett licked his now very dry lips desiring the closeness more than ever. _

_ Eddy giggled to himself before grinning," Let's spoon! I've never been the little spoon before. It sounds kinda funny to have you trying to cuddle me from the back because you're a smol boi." _

_ " I'm not smol where it counts. My dick, my brain and heart are motherfucking huge" Brett fell back with a fit of laughter. _

_ Eddy followed Brett down with his own giggles and an attempt to capture the other man in a kiss," You also got a big nose, but it's pretty, like the rest of your face. Your heart and mind are also beautiful. Although I must say I am more interested in your dick right now."  _

_ He pressed their lips together in a messy kiss until the elder rolled them over so they were lying on their sides with Brett behind Eddy, getting ready for their intense snuggles. _

_ “ Hmmmm grab the lotion.. Want to make sure you don’t get hurt” The shorter violinist murmured whilst stroking the taller’s sides to help him relax. _

_ Eddy fumbled with the bottle, anxious about the matter returning like a train in a station, “ But it shouldn’t hurt right? Right, Bretty?” _

_ “ No it shouldn’t, I’ll be careful.” He took the small bottle from the younger male, carefully pouring some onto his length, rubbing it over until he was satisfied with the slickness. _

_ Eddy glanced over his shoulder just in time to see Brett aligning, an anxious squeak escaped his throat. He curled up ever so slightly as a way to get more comfortable with his sudden fear. _

_ Brett used his free hand to gently stroke up the boy’s exposed side,” Shhh, it’s okay. We’ll take it at your pace. We won’t do anything you don’t want to do okay?” _

_ “ Okay” Eddy took a deep breath to calm his nerves,” Um you can push in.. I think if we wait any longer I’ll chicken out, although I think this is something I really want. So yeah put it in. It’s okay” _

_ He spoke quickly wanting to get it over with. _

_ Brett squeezed Eddy’s hip protectively to show the boy he was going to keep him safe along with taking care of him, to aid in the support he began to place soft kisses along the nape of the boy's neck,” You’re too cute sometimes. Just focus on the cuddles.” he whispered softly. _

_ Brett smiled seeing this position was a good choice since it created a sense of safety, where both partners could easily control the pace, it was comfortable and he could take it slow while lasting longer. A night with Eddy cuddling and penetrating was a pretty good deal in Brett's mind. _

_ Eddy put his hand over the one on his hip, interlacing their fingers," Mmmph" _

_ He made an undignified sound when he felt the tip breaching the sensitive muscle. It was strange to feel himself stretching around something that seemingly had no business being there in the first place. _

_ Soon Brett sat fully hilted," Damn your tight" he inhaled deeply to keep himself from losing control. The way the silky walls were squeezing around him was almost unbearable, if one of them started moving he swore he would cum then and there. _

_ " Your thing feels funny" Eddy tried to adjust causing Brett to whimper against the boy's neck. _

_ " Stop moving please" the elder bit out with another whine needing to hold himself back. _

_ Eddy huffed in mild defiance,but still remained obedient and stopped. _

_ Brett sighed in relief," This is way too good to start so soon…. Maybe some foreplay to build up to the best part" _

_ " But I can't touch you that well." Eddy's brow furrowed, he didn't want Brett to be neglected. He already had a dick in him and some good back cuddles so what about poor Brett getting pleasure. His groggy mind wasn't very comprehensive of just how much pleasure the shorter violinist was in. _

_ Brett chuckled breathily," I'm sure you'll find a way… uh how about you take your hand off mine and try to reach up to put in my hair. I think that works." _

_ Eddy let go with some thought as he adjusted his arm so his hand could lightly cradle Brett's head, he loved to touch the soft locks.  _

_ He purred in response to the fingers massaging his scalp," Yeah just like that, so good" _

_ Eddy blushed in response to the praise given. It made him happy to know he was doing something right. _

_ Brett's hands traveled, one going to his dick the other going to the boys left nipple. _

_ His thumb swiped over the sensitive tip, a smug look growing on his face with the sound it produced from the younger. So sinful yet so holy to his ears," I could worship you and the godly sounds you make"  _

_ He growled quietly in Eddy's ear then nipped his earlobe causing another moan to escape him tumble from those gorgeous lips. _

_ Damn he wanted to devour him. _

_ Eddy wanted to squirm away from the words, it made him feel soft, like he was appreciated for doing nothing except for being there," S-shut u-up t-that's embarrassing" _

_ His chest rose and fell with a whimper. _

_ “ But it’s true” He tweaked a nipple whilst giving the length a quick tug causing the boy to arch and squirm back against his cock.  _

_ Lithe fingers finally let go of the arousal to trail up the boys abdomen and neck until they rested on Eddy’s lips,” Wanna suck?” _

_ He offered in thought it may help the younger control his voice if he was really embarrassed by it. _

_ “ Yes, thank you” Eddy flicked his tongue out to give a testing lick to the tips then swiveled it around the underside, feeling how Brett shivered under the ministration, this motivated him to take the digits into his mouth. Sucking, lapping and swirling his tongue all around them. _

_ “ You’re good with your mouth.You know that?” _

_ Eddy made a noncommittal noise in response, he was just guessing on what to do. It seemed pretty simple, plus Brett was easy to read so it made it easy to figure out what the elder liked to feel. A musician's hands were sensitive; something he planned on using to his advantage to please.  _

_ With a hand in his hair stroking lightly and warm lips wrapped around his fingers, he wanted to move," Eddy is it okay if I start moving now I know I said about foreplay but damn this feels so good" _

_ " Mmmhmmm" his response was hummed in reply since his mouth was occupied. _

_ Brett smiled against his partners neck, soon resuming his motions on Eddy's chest using his thumb to rub one of the pink nubs in circular motions before he pulled his hips back a bit to give a shallow thrust back in. _

_ To say the least Eddy was very responsive to the movement in both places, his jaw fell loose as his lips formed an O shape.  _

_ He gasped and mewled trying to push himself back into the steady rhythm of thrusts. _

_ Brett buried his face more into the boys neck, kissing and biting at the thin skin fully intending to leave marks on the unclaimed flesh," You're sucking me in so nicely, can't believe I've been missing out on this" _

_ He snapped his hips particularly hard in time with his words," Gosh I love you so much"  _

_ He bit down roughly with a deep grunt. _

_ " Mmmmmph" His pleasured scream was muffled by his devotion to sucking on Brett's fingers. _

_ " can I kiss you… like if you spit my fingers out" Brett licked at the bite imprint as if he could heal the puncture wound. _

_ Eddy heard the word kiss and he was on board, so he spit the slobbery digits out then tried to turn his head without headbutting Brett," I like kisses" _

_ " I do too," Brett murmured, this night was like a dream he never wanted to let go of. Their lips came together in a sloppy kiss, neither being sober enough to coordinate it. Whilst kissing the elder brought his now wet hand back down to the boys dick, wiping the spit along its length before taking it into his fist to pump fast and rough compared to the slow thrusting pace. _

_ Eddy cried out into Brett's mouth, ribbons on white coating the dainty fingers. _

_ To say the least Brett was surprised by the quick orgasm but he could hardly blame the younger in such a state. _

_ Eddy pulled back from the kiss with an almost horrified look on his face," I'm so sorry! I've n-never c-cummed this f-fast before… I promise, I'm so sorry" _

_ He looked like he was on the verge of tears for being in such a typically embarrassing situation," I promise I'll get it back up so you can fuck me" he stammered terribly fearing Brett's judgement. If he were with his ex she would of belittled him by now for not even making the sex worth while.  _

_ Brett simply kissed the boy's cheek with a small calming pur," It's okay. You looked so cute. You can cum as much as you want, we have all night" _

_ He calmly assured, honestly he was surprised that he had lasted this long," I'll wait. We can relax"  _

__

**_********_ **

Brett pulled at his hair, he wanted to scream that it meant something! But his idiot self decided to say it didn't to the one who mattered most to him. Screaming it to the air wouldn't fix anything.

With the slump of his shoulders he gave into defeat deciding to just get them breakfast. He knew he would have to apologise for his jerky outbreak, only having a small hope Eddy would forgive him. 

He knew deep down Eddy would but he felt he didn't deserve that for being such a jerk. He never did that with his one night stands, always having enough decency to take care of what needed to be taken care of but when it came to his best friend he freaked out.

_____

"Eddy?" Brett slowly pushed open the door," I'm sorry about the way I freaked out this morning but I plan to fully take responsibility now and talk about it if you want. Fuck man I really am sorry… I brought aspirin, breakfast and bubble tea."

Eddy was laying on the bed fingering meditation out on his arm, he used to do this before auditions to help keep his nerves down, it served the same purpose now.

He startled when hearing the elder males voice yet was very happy to hear him," Thank God you came back.."

He was afraid that they screwed up so badly that Brett just decided to leave and not return, he knew it was illogical but it still scared him. Eddy looked over to the shorter violinist then attempted to sit up more properly.

Brety bit the corner of his lip anxiously," Why wouldn't I come back?"

" Because you were so mad at me" Eddy rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly," Could I have the aspirin, admittedly my hangover hurts like hell"

His ass was kind of sore too but he didn't think it would be a good time to mention it despite Brett saying he was ready to talk. Eddy didn't believe it, even though he wasn't ready.

" Eddy I wasn't mad at you, the situation was just less than conventional. I guess it scared me " He tossed the small aspirin bottle over to the taller not being sure if it would be appropriate to try to approach him. He'd understand if the boy never wanted him to touch him again.

" I was scared too" Eddy caught the plastic bottle, fumbling to twist it open. He was mildly relieved to know he wasn't the only one that felt the fear of the unknown," It could have been worse though." 

The laugh he had attempted got stuck in his throat, turning more into a choked noise more than anything else.

" I don't see how it could get much worse" Brett sat himself on his own bed across from Eddy's, he wanted to bury his face into his hands but he couldn't while holding all their breakfast and boba.

" My first time with a dude could have been with a total stranger. Waking up in another person's hotel room would be a lot worse. All in all I am kinda happy it was with someone I know well… even if the morning was a bit rocky you still came back to help me. The experience is scary but that thought is scarier" Eddy downed two of the painkillers dry, ready to get some relief.

Brett paled into a ghostly color while gaining this new knowledge," W-what!?"

The happenings of the evening started clicking together, this would explain why and how the boy got off on his fingers so intensely then came so quickly with the small amount of stimulation. It only left one question. Why was he so clean down there as if preparing for intercourse?

" But you were so clean!?"

Eddy's face flushed red, he didn't mean to give away that piece of information that he was basically an ass virgin when it came to the gay kind.

" Oh… well I heard someone talk about how doing that sort of thing could help with stress and anxiety so I thought it would be worth trying because I was starting to get really nervous about tour"

He tried to explain as quickly as he could not wanting to have this part of the conversation, it was weird to admit but then again not as weird as having his best friend's cock shoved up him. His memory was foggy with what happened as for his body it remembered everything.

" Gosh Eddy.. I'm so sorry," Quickly he tried to swallow his guilt, he had lied. He was definitely not ready to take responsibility or talk about it at that moment. He thought the situation would be better if Eddy had done it with other men before, because it would have meant he didn't take something that was important away from the younger. He knew sex was something Eddy saw as what should be romantic. Giving oneself because it meant something, meant that there was safety and trust making the boy want to give all of himself to a person. Here Brett was wrenching it away from him.

Now Eddy couldn't give away what he saw as important because Brett had taken it without being able to give the same. 

He had said it meant nothing destroying that safe illusion.

Eddy offered a weary smile," It's fine. It's not that important"

His words were strained as he tried to get them out just wanting Brett to feel okay. He could fix himself later.

Brett starred agape for a good few minutes until he finally cleared his throat," So for breakfast I got us french toast, scrambled eggs and some sausage. Sounds like some good hangover food ai? Let's eat and maybe rest some more before our show. Perhaps we can watch tv."

Hopefully they'd both feel better by changing the subject.

Eddy's stomach grumbled at the mention of food thinking it sounded amazing to eat despite his will to vomit until his throat became raw," Sounds good, can't wait to chow down but we probably should practice before tonight so we sound good."

" Yeah we probably should," Brett went quiet searching for something to say, anything to say really. It felt awkward and strained to even have such a simple conversation. He couldn’t get his mind off the new information, the night or the morning it all was so wrong. It wasn’t supposed to be this way, no amount of apologies would fix this. So the raven haired violinist did the only thing he could do: Hand Eddy’s food and bubble tea to him. 

The younger eagerly took them with a cordial smile on his face but it was quite obvious that he was in the same predicament as Brett. Neither knew what to say or how to act, the evidence of their late night passions left them stinging with bitter wounds.

Breakfast continued on in a dead silence. It wasn't awkward but it wasn't comfortable either, it was pulsing with tension that both boys didn't want to acknowledge. So it went on like that until all the food plus bubble tea was gone.

Practice wasn't much different, the only difference was that violin music filled the silence. Not even that had sounded right. It didn't flow, where there was once harmony there was now dissonance. Filling their lungs and minds, one mistake; one lie had disrupted their dynamic yet both refused to talk about it further. It felt best to forget rather than to relieve rejection that was sure to come. It didn't mean anything more than to have a warm body to sleep by. That was what was said so it was believed. 

Hearts hollow like the music they stared into each other's lifeless eyes. They were drained.

Brett only remembered feeling like this twice in his entire life–or perhaps he always felt like this so he was numb to the feeling– he was in uni, thought he could set himself right from such sinful thoughts of his best friend by having a girlfriend, it didn't last long. The alcohol had always brought out the other man's name ruining what he tried to keep. After that no strings attached relationships became better, they were all thinking of someone else anyways… He couldn't ruin them like he ruined her with one name...He couldn't ruin them like he felt he had Eddy. The second was when the younger started dating some flute girl, he really despised how happy they made each other because he knew it was something he could never have and maybe never will.

As for Eddy he accepted the feeling allowing the small anxieties to be poured into his violin. All of the unstable emotion came out through the swift motions of his bow. It was harsh strikes yet it wasn't unforgiving, it was questioning beckoning an answer. Eddy wanted to know how something so important to him could mean so little to another! He wanted to know why he was stupid enough to put himself in such a compromising position? He never supported the idea of escapism through alcohol yet there he was paying the repercussions of it.  _ Hypocrite  _ ran through his mind, he did the same thing he advised Brett against. Why did he expect a different outcome?

" We sound like utter shit" Brett had been the first to speak, violin and bow in one hand as the other ran through his hair one too many times," Why don't we practice separately to try to figure it out before we try again… I need to shower anyways"

Eddy slowly nodded, not offering much of a response, mind too focused on getting his bow hand to stop shaking.

Brett bit his lip not knowing what else to do after that so he put his violin away with tender motions then stalked off to the bathroom. 

He had no clue how he could fix this, he felt so helpless when it was all subject to time. People say time heals but he did not have the patience for that. He wanted the fix now! Sadly life nor time worked like that, leaving him to settle into the bathroom by his lonesome.

Once the door was closed and locked he stripped off his stale clothes that still smelled faintly of alcohol. It was regrettable. 

They fell abandoned on the floor for Brett wasn't wasting any time before getting in the shower. He needed to clean away the grime of the night and his shame. 

He licked his dry lips noticing the slight speckle of red scattered against the porcelain of the tub, he decided to ignore it, instead of asking Eddy about it he turned the water on allowing it to be washed away probably. His own mind drifted with the cascade of the water down the drain.

___________

" I think we're sounding better" Eddy spoke softly, even to his own ears it felt more mechanical than natural. They were playing it right but they weren't making music just empty sound.

Brett tilted his head back with a groan, " Maybe to an untrained ear we sound fine but it is still crap.. You can't polish shit Eddy"

Eddy took a resigned sigh," Then what would you suggest Brett? It's not like we have many options on what to do, we're doing a violin comedy show. We kinda need to play."

" I know, I know it's just frustrating. Okay?" The shorter of the duo tried to keep his tone even not wanting to seem snappy. His anxiety just had a good way of making either have a meltdown or snap coldly at people.

Eddy nodded in understanding, Brett wasn't the only one beating himself up over the strained sound," I know it's frustrating but we can do this. Like it's gotten better even if not good in quality, better is still better and if we keep practicing it will reach an acceptable sound. We aren't giving up just because of minor setbacks"

He was determined to accomplish this for their fans! They've come this far without failure, this would not be an exception no matter the circumstances. They would not let down the people who made this possible.

____________

Eddy had to look away to refrain from glaring at the cute barbie blonde girl that was currently chatting it up with Brett. It was holding up the line to their small meet and greet they had after the show. 

It was hard not to glower from under his bangs and not to snap, but he somehow managed to stay calm, even as the blond asked them out for drinks.

He was about to cut in but Brett answered first,” Actually that sounds great. Eddy what do you think.”

“ Actually I’m really tired so I think I’m going to pass on that one. But you can go enjoy yourself Brett and thanks for offering” Eddy managed to smile sweetly despite the agony bubbling in his chest. He was angry, beyond angry in fact. Who had such audacity to ask them such a thing especially after what had happened. Then again it wasn’t like the poor girl knew what was going on between them.

Brett sighed, his demeanor seemed defeated when Eddy declined,” okay then, as for me I’ll accept.” 

He licked his dry lips awkwardly figuring maybe the second half of their duo needed time to himself. 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And it finally comes to an end.

If Eddy were petty he'd go out and get himself screwed by another man just in spite of Brett, as a way to show him the meaninglessness in what they had done. After all wasn't that what Brett was doing by going out with the cute blue eyed blond haired fan. No doubt he wouldn't even come back to the hotel tonight,since it seemed to be a ritual to have one night stands.

Maybe Eddy was a bit petty. Seething over the situation drove him to look up the nearest gay bar. He was walking alone back to the hotel anyways and it didn't seem too out of his way to check one out.

It's not like it mattered, Brett wouldn't care; He had a girl way prettier than Eddy to go get drinks with.

Eddy sighed running a hand through his hair, it really wasn't his scene but he had come this far, might as well continue with it. Perhaps he could just find someone to talk to. Surely he wasn't the only one who had fucked with their best friend then felt like an utter screw up. 

" It should be around here somewhere," he murmured under his breath quietly, whilst looking around the lit streets. He was glad it wasn't some seedy part of the city, rather the downtown strip that was a straight shot to the hotel. Which would make it easy for him to scurry back once he realized how dumb this was.

Eddy lifted his eyes from his phone once he stood in front of what seemed to be a classic liquor bar, google maps said it was the place. Strange, it was more sophisticated looking than he thought it would be. It was almost classy in a sense and very quiet. It seemed like a nice place to curl up with a book… he looked around one last time then checked google to make sure it was the right place: it was. 

“ What am I even doing here?” Eddy quietly asked himself whilst approaching the door. He didn’t particularly like socializing nor did he particularly like drinking alone so it was a rash decision at its finest.

He wasn’t going to hook up with anyone he didn’t know, he wasn’t going to talk to strangers and he wasn’t going to drink by himself, so why was he there? Perhaps it was because he simply didn’t want to be in the same room with Brett’s stuff. Perhaps he didn’t want to lay in the same bed he got meaninglessly fucked into. It was better to be in an accepting atmosphere than to suffer the insanity of his mind.

With a deep breath and a tight grip on his violin case he walked in. It was as peaceful as it looked on the outside. If it weren’t for the racks of liquor bottles he would almost think it was a coffee shop. This was a relief to his troubled thoughts. He could just buy something as an excuse to stay but actually spend his time reading, that was more of his style.

Eddy trotted up to the counter finding an empty bar stool that was further away from the rest of the quiet chatter, he gently set his case down by him where he could see it. 

Admittedly his isolating nature made him seem out of place, he was the only one sitting alone among the small crowd of men. However, for him it was comforting to hear other people's voices even if he wasn’t interacting with them. 

Eddy closed the map on his phone so he could look for something to read instead that might interest him. Perhaps some manga he had downloaded? That seemed like a good option, he could get lost in a whole different world for the time being. 

“ You look like a puppy that’s lost, what brings you here?” He heard someone tease making him startle. He hadn't heard anyone approach him.

Eddy quickly looked up and around until his eyes landed on what he assumed to be a middle aged man.

“ Um I don’t really know…” he murmured quietly and awkwardly, all the reasons he came to be petty, he had decided against. It really wouldn’t have helped the situation if he fell through with it, only would make him feel worse. Brett’s bad behavior wasn’t an excuse for him to behave badly as well, “ It seemed peaceful and I could use some peace right now.”

He debated on looking back to his phone to show he clearly didn’t want to be bothered. Instead he slid it into his pocket not wanting to be rude. If someone wanted to talk to him he’d listen even if he didn’t want to converse.

“ I won’t press then, by the way I’m Ashton. And you are?” The stocky man held his hand out. Despite his broad muscular appearance his eyes were soft with a hazel glint and understanding. He seemed friendly enough so Eddy took his hand to shake. 

He secretly enjoyed the feeling of Ashton’s larger hand cradling his own,” I’m Eddy, it’s nice to meet you.”

Eddy smiled politely as he drew his hand back deeming it to be socially inappropriate if he held on any longer,” Do you come here often?”

Small talk was good; small talk was safe, it couldn't hurt him.

" Hmm only on the weekends, it's a nice place to kick back and relax," Ashton shrugged slightly," It's quiet but there's also a lot of good conversation to be made."

" Not to be stereotypical but I thought this place would be a lot more loud or that there would be a lot more groping .” Eddy rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly not entirely sure if it was an appropriate thing to say.

The larger man tilted his head back with a laugh finding it to be amusing,” Well if you’re into stuff like that, I know a few places. As for here it’s pretty down low, I think the riskiest thing is the condoms in the bathroom.”

Eddy blushed profusely, quickly shaking his head,” No, I think I like the lowkeyness of here better. It feels more relational when you can’t hide behind music, alcohol or lust and I like that. Emotional connections not just physical ones.”

He was soft spoken and shy when discussing it with Ashton since he didn’t know him. 

_________

  
  


For once in Brett's life he couldn't stand the smell of the alcohol that was all around him. It made his stomach churn and bubble with distaste. All he could think about was Eddy: his swollen red lips parted in a perfect O chanting Brett's name whenever he found the right spot. Their night was burned into his memory to the point it was all he was imagining. It was all he could see when he closed his eyes.

If only he hadn't said those fateful words _it–doesn't mean anythin_ g– it would have gone differently. Fear of rejection is what drove those words out in the first place yet he was bringing rejection upon himself, even though this was to prevent such things.

" I think I have to go..." Brett checked his phone for the time whilst he slid out of the bar stool.

" Aw already, but the night has just begun?" The fan chirped in disappoint, watching as the violinist pulled his jacket on, " And you've hardly drunk a thing, why are you going?"

" I feel sick, I wouldn't want to pass it on to you" He smiled politely," Goodbye, maybe we'll see each other around. Hopefully when I am not ready to barf"

Brett joked, happy to at least see her grin and giggle before speed walking to the door. He wasn't lying about the barfing, the way his insides were twisting made him want to spill it all out until there was nothing left. The guilt was bubbling up into his throat making it hard for him to breath, he regretted not going back to the hotel with Eddy. He regretted not giving him the comfort he needed and most of all he regretted not spitting out his true feelings.

Everything he did seemed to make it worse. He tried to protect what they had with rejection but it only created a dejected atmosphere. He tried to give Eddy space which only seemed to feed the boys anger! He tried to invite him along with the fan but he was quick to decline, venom dripping off his tongue with every word he spoke. 

It was all wrong; it was probably his fault for trying all the wrong things. 

With his eyes and heart downtrodden he made his way down the strip back to the hotel, ready to confess everything to his friend in hopes to make it all better.

Brett knew things were never a quick fix but he held out hope that it would soothe the heart injury that had been made.

If only these things were simple. 

As he approached closer to the hotel he prepared what he was going to say:

" Eddy I am really sorry about how I handled the situation but I don't regret doing it with you, I regret it not being a sober choice and what I said. It did mean something to me because I do really really like you, I was just afraid that you wouldn't feel the same way so I freaked out. I know it doesn't excuse my actions nor does it excuse my words but I hope it counts for something"

He whispered under his breath anxiously, knowing he wouldn't be able to get all of those words out. He'd probably apologize multiple times while being on the verge of a panic attack but it didn't hurt to try. If he kept repeating what he planned some of the words may come out successfully.

The moment of truth was dawning upon him quicker than he thought it would. He hadn't even realized how he was already in the hotel walking to their shared room. Brett was too focused on his rehearsal to realize his time was limited.

Slowly he reached into his pocket pulling out the key card then swiped it across the reader until he heard the door click open.

The room seemed unnervingly quiet, almost unnaturally so. Something was wrong, Eddy was never this quiet, not even when he was asleep. Even then the boy would make small sounds similar to a puppy dreaming.

" Eddy?" He called into the dark room, finally being brave enough to open the door wide.

Of course he got no answer for the second half of the violin duo was not in the room.

Panic set in, Eddy didn't tell him that he was going anywhere, didn't even leave a text to say he was heading out!

It was common courtesy to bring it up, so your friends wouldn’t jump to the worst conclusions of why you were gone!

“ Okay, take a deep breath, just give him a call to see where he is and if he’s okay…He’s probably fine,” Brett tried to tell himself until he calmed. 

He pulled the phone from his pocket, speed dialing Eddy. The phone rang several times before being sent into voicemail. 

_~Hey this is Eddy leave a message at the sound of the beep, I'll get back to you when I can~*beep*_

" it's Brett as you could probably guess from the caller ID," he laughed mirthlessly," I got back earlier than expected, I just wanted to check in to see if you were safe. Hope to see you soon."

After that he hung up only one thought running through the left side of his brain, _" oh gosh he's probably dead in some ditch!"_

The right side of his brain on the other hand was thinking very logically, _" he probably went to get fresh air or food after all we both only had lunch today."_

Brett groaned,a hand running through his hair in frustration," Maybe I should go look for him… No he's an adult he can handle himself, he's bound to come back, right?"

Despite telling himself that he still made his way over to the door, looking briefly wouldn't hurt anything. It was better to be safe than sorry.

_________

Eddy didn't know how he ended up telling the older guy about what had happened the night before, the intimacy of sharing his shame scared him but it had somehow just slipped out.

Ashton gave him a sympathetic look before smiling softly," Hey I'm sorry to hear what happened," he started with gently," My advice is to be open about it and vulnerable. Talk to him about it and be willing to listen. It's better to know where you both stand than to just let it eat at you, you know?"

" But what if he hates me for being too clingy, no one likes a person they fuck once to just cling to them…" Eddy fidgeted with his hands, his mind was running with all the 'what ifs'.

Ashton leaned against the bar slightly, he had years of life to learn this but the boy he was talking to was still young. Emotionally driven not knowing how to function as an adult yet, " This guy doesn't sound like he hates you, he sounds like he's desperate to preserve your friendship. And it sounds like you two may have mutual feelings plus it's better to be rejected, than living your life in regret because you never confessed or asked how he felt. Plus it could end well where he likes you too but if it doesn't you can be free to move on."

Eddy bit down on his lip until it drew blood. Was it actually as simple as that? Could he just waltz right in and tell Brett how he felt," Nothing feels okay, how can I express that? I told him we were chill."

" By saying exactly that. Nothing feels okay. Then perhaps saying that you lied earlier," Ashton quirked an eyebrow then sighed this kid had obviously not been taught how to handle such things and he couldn't blame Eddy for that.

He took in Eddy's trembling form with slightly watery eyes.

Ashton put a comforting hand on the younger's shoulder feeling sympathy," Hey I know it's scary, but you can do this. I promise it'll be better once you open up. You're young, love like you'll never get hurt."

Eddy looked up at the man wearily yet with a new found determination," Thanks... do you think it will actually be alright."

" I do." the elder nodded adamantly, his soft hazel eyes meeting almond ones. Eddy's eyes quickly darted in a panic feeling his phone buzz in his pocket.

Someone was calling," Sorry."

He whispered apologetically, reaching to pick it up. His hand froze sewing the caller ID: Brett Yang.

What could he want? Wasn't he out having drinks with cute fans!

His hands shook not knowing what to do. Sure they just had a conversation about being an adult and actually dealing with his problems but he didn’t feel ready to actually do it. The phone flipped to his voicemail without him even realizing: Eddy took too long overthinking. 

Eddy turned his phone off with a groan,” Fuck...I’m really bad at this already! I couldn’t even talk to him on the phone, what will it be like actually looking at him face to face?” 

He asked himself desperately. 

Ashton rested a hand on the boy's shoulder with a small sigh,” Give yourself a bit of time to catch a breath. You’ll do better when it’s in person, don’t worry.” 

The younger male just wanted to bash his head against the counter to end his misery, if he had to go to the hospital he wouldn’t have to deal with his problems…Eddy took a deep breath collecting his thoughts in an attempt to decide what was worth the effort. Coming to the answer was easy, Brett was the only one worth the trouble and the work. He always was,” Okay, I can do this.”

Eddy spoke shakily, still rather uncertain about his ability,” I can do this.” He whispered to himself this time as an attempt to make himself believe it. With one last mutter of the phrase he jumped off of his bar stool ready to win the older violinist over,” Thanks for hearing me out.”

He shuffled to grab his violin case, he was in a hurry now.

“ Good luck, I hope the best for you two,” Ashton gave a knowing little smile, watching how the boy ran out the door, fumbling with his stuff awkwardly, “ Crazy kids.”

________________

Eddy made his way through the hotel lobby fairly quick with only one goal set in mind. He darted to the stairs not having the patience to simply wait at the elevator; Why wait when he could leap up the steps in bounds, conquering three at a time. In a mere 2 minutes he had made it to the 4th floor where their shared room hid along its corridor.

“ I can do this,” He spoke as if a mantra, his confidence growing with the repetition. Eddy pushed the metal door open with his foot, since he needed to protect his precious violin. Upon entering the hallway he took a deep breath, he was too committed to this resolve for running away now. Long strides led him to room 317. His air of confidence was soon fleeting, hand struggling to pull out his key card properly.

“It’s no big deal, just a heart to heart. We’ve done that plenty of times,” Eddy muttered, having a bit of trouble swiping the card. By the third time of frustrating failures the door clicked, signalling it unlocked. 

As expected the room was empty, he almost felt a pang of disappointment. This meant Brett was probably still out for drinks with their fans.

The taller violinists shoulders slumped in defeat, feeling his stomach churn like he would throw up,” Well this is shit. Why would he even want some dude when he could have literally anyone else.”

He liked his dry lips, glancing into the stand up mirror hanging up on the wall across from the closet. Why would Brett want him when he could have any hot babe. Eddy wouldn’t say he was unattractive but he certainly felt like a solid five out of ten, maybe even lower in that particular moment.

Eddy ripped his eyes away from the reflective glass, he couldn’t start self-pitying himself without letting the elder make a decision; mentally he prepared himself for sure rejection. He quietly shuffled over to his bed, oh the torment he felt knowing they were once tangled intimately in that place yet he was approaching it alone. The violin case was placed gently by the nightstand whilst he drowned in his own thought. He already missed the confidence he had when walking back.

Once again the door clicked, under the notions of being unlocked. It slowly fell open to reveal a very worried looking Brett Yang, sorrowful eyes turning wide in shock,” Eddy you’re back?!” 

His gasp was strained, eyes ready to tear up from all the anxiety he had felt,” I came back earlier and you weren’t here, then I called but you didn’t answer, so I looked for you and you were literally nowhere! I thought something awful happened.”

The shorter male blabbered trying to show his pure relief that Eddy wasn’t kidnapped then left somewhere in the ditch.

Eddy jumped slightly, hearing this all, it startled him; one because he hadn’t expected the elder to just bust through the door on what seemed to be a verge of a panic attack and secondly he wasn’t exactly paying attention to his surroundings,” Brett…”

He whispered unsure, with a sudden look of determination; he approached the shorter ready to comfort him. Eddy reached a hand out running it lightly up the boy’s arm, until it rested firmly on his shoulder. He still wasn’t sure what amount of physical contact was allowed between them,” Shhh Bretty I’m okay. I’m sorry for not answering my phone. I should have.”

“ Where were you,” the words barely escaped his lips, coming out as a croak. 

Eddy sighed, feeling a bit awkward to actually admit it,” I was at this gay whiskey bar on the downtown strip. I didn’t drink or hook up with anyone, I thought you were still out...I didn’t think it would hurt anything.”

He chose to be honest there was no point about lying about such trivial things.

Brett clumsily grabbed onto Eddy’s hand in slight possessiveness, making sure Eddy was actually there and alright,” No, I came back because I couldn’t bear being there without you while you were here alone.”  
  


It was spoken almost below a whisper making it hard to hear yet Eddy hung on every word. Something grew in him, it wasn’t confidence but boldness plus a little edge of anger for being ditched in the first place,” Good, because you don’t belong with them. You belong with me.”

He didn’t know what the hell he was saying. 

Brett’s eyes widened almost comically, his words tripped over each other,” W w what d dd did y-you ssay?”

The syllables and vowels merged together in surprise of what his friend had said.

“ You don’t belong at the bars or in anyone else's arms. You belong with me, in mine. You’ve always had. It didn’t mean nothing, it meant everything to me! You mean everything to me Brett, we’re not okay like this, guessing and acting as if walking on eggshells. “ Eddy’s gaze fell to the floor, waiting for Brett’s response. Perhaps he had been too quick to say anything. Perhaps he should have waited for Brett to calm down first.

Brett was in pure shock, this was not what he expected to be laid on him in the throws of his anxiety. Was this a love confession of sorts?

“I’m sorry,” He chose his next words very carefully, “ I feel the same… I don’t regret having done it with you, I only regret not being sober. I’m sorry for saying what I did. I just freaked out then proceeded to freak out more when you said it was your first time under someone. I didn’t know what to do with all of it.”

In all honesty Brett just wanted to protect Eddy and his own heart for that matter. He couldn’t lose his best friend over his own selfish need to have him.

Eddy shifted his weight between his feet, causing him to sway,” We’re sober now…”

The taller male felt awkward saying that. He wasn’t sure if it was the right thing to say in this situation . It’s not like he ever needed to know. He froze hearing Brett laugh at this statement, it was unexpected. Eddy felt himself shrinking down nervously,” Did I say something wrong?”

His voice was much smaller than it had originally been.

“ No you didn’t say anything wrong, you’re just being cute,” Brett shook his head adamantly,” If you’re actually serious about this let me take you on a date, to court you and stuff. You like that kind of thing and I think I’d like to treat you like that instead of only having sex.”

He never really did this. The one night stands were all mindless where no one even stayed the whole night. This ,however, was Eddy. He was different thus needed to be treated differently. He needed to be treated better.

“ But I am serious about this,” Eddy pouted, he didn’t really care though. Going on a date actually sounded really nice. Sure they already went out with each other but this would be different. After all, a date had different connotations.

Brett squeezed the hand still placed on his shoulder, he was still a little weary of this,” Then maybe since tomorrow is our last day here I could take you somewhere nice, yeah?”

He wanted to make up for this whole day if Eddy would allow him.

Eddy bumped their foreheads together, resting his in place to look into Brett’s eyes. They’ve done this many times to comfort or show intimate support but never to show a romantic kind of love. Always intimate, never romantic,” I would love that.”

He spoke softly, relaxing under the gaze that left no room for questioning if this was actually real. To love was to get hurt sometimes; it was emotional pain of what ifs? Love could even feel like a physical affliction. A thing that continued endlessly, until the question was asked. 

So here Brett and Eddy stood, finally having an answer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not actually sure how I feel about the ending but meh.  
> Thank you all for reading, I appreciate it very much.

**Author's Note:**

> This is a two-shot I hope to wrap up the second half soon to say the least.


End file.
